My Own Pity Party

I promise I won't do this very often...but today I need to.  I just have some feelings that I feel I need to share.  And, let's be honest...about this whole blogging thing...it really is for me , isn't it?  LOL  I mean, of course there are all the things I hope to accomplish through blogging, like helping other people in similar situations, at the very least, feel like they are not alone.  And maybe, just maybe, becoming an inspiration to someone who is just beginning the process (you know, later on down the road).  Ultimately, though, blogging about my life really is a chance for me  to express myself, right?  I have just one caveat before I go ahead and jump on in with both feet...you should know that I am Very  Grateful  that my symptoms are not nearly as bad as they could be.  I know that there are many more people in the world who are less  fortunate than me.  I can only hope that my disease doesn't progress to the levels that I have seen it could eventually be.  But in the meantime, I am thankful that, despite all of my issues, it is not worse.

So, here's your very last chance to bail on reading this post if you aren't up for listening to a lot of whining and complaining...it's just something I  really need to do right now...have a little pity party for myself so that I can get the whining out of my system and focus more on what I need to do to stay as healthy as I can for my family.  So, if you keep on reading, don't say I didn't warn  you!

How about I start this off as a top 10 list of my most annoying symptoms?  That's sounds good to me ...

1.  I am soooooo tired. All.The.Time!  Like sleepy tired...you know that feeling when your eyes start to sting because you're super  tired?  That's how I feel.  Always.  Even if I get a good night's sleep, or nap, or rest.  I am tired...and not like mom  tired.  Just through and through tired.

2.  I'm exhausted.  I know that sounds an awful lot like number one, but I am referring to a different kind of tiredness now...the one that exists deep in my muscles.  It sorta feels like I have spent hours at the gym lifting very heavy weights...and a lot of times there is a soreness there, too, as if I really did  lift weights!  Thank goodness the boys can walk a lot now, because the exhaustion in my muscles makes it very difficult to carry them much at all anymore.  But this exhaustion effects absolutely everything  I do throughout my entire  day.  So if anyone I know sees me and thinks I look miserable, it's probably just that I'm tired and exhausted...please don't take it personally! ;)

3.  I ache.  Like bone ache.  My hands, my right pinky finger, my wrists, my arms, my right elbow, my legs, my knees, my hips, my neck, my back, and I am sure some other part of me that I am forgetting.  I feel like I am 80 years old!  Can somebody hand me my walker, please??  Now, I do feel a little better once my body gets up and moving, like after a little exercise or something...but then I am tired and exhausted again.  I am really going to have to learn to find balance in my life to help with this.

4.  My stomach is a mess.  I often feel like I am going to spew chunks (sorry to any of my visual friends, followers).  And if it's not coming out one end, it's the other!  Again, I apologize.  But it's real .  Too, I am frequently gassy, bloated, and/or constipated, just to tie it all up in a neat little package...with a giant purple bow (because that's my favorite)!  But, pretty much, my stomach rarely feels "right" anymore.

5.  My hands and feet are frozen icicles hanging off logs.  And it is sooooooo hard to warm them up if they get cold!  I have to be very proactive with this one!  Because once they're cold, forget  it !  I might as well stick them in an ice bath and tell them that misery loves company!

6.  I am having a hard time swallowing.  This is one of the weird symptoms I was vaguely aware that I was experiencing, but I didn't realize it was actually a symptom of anything , until the doc told me about it.  And now that I am paying more attention to it, it is a bit annoying.

7.  Another one:  I have difficulty taking deep breaths.  It hurts my lungs.  I was aware of this symptom before seeing the scleroderma specialist, but as with the swallowing, I had no  idea  that it was connected.  I just assumed  it was because I was out of shape.  But now, I am worried about it.  I am anxious to go for my pulmonary function test next week to see if I have any scar tissue on my lungs.  *Wish me luck*!

8.  Acid reflux...something I have only had a few times in my life...except when I was preggo with those beautiful boys of mine!  While I was pregnant with the twins, I had the  worst  heartburn of my life!  And when it continued post-delivery, I was sure  it had something to do with the pregnancy hormones still hanging around in my body?!?!  I guess not!  Fortunately, I don't have it very  often...but I have had it in the middle of the night, to the point of vomiting, and that stinks !

9.  Swollen glands and low-grade fevers are pretty much a weekly occurrence.  What a pain in the neck!  Literally!  LOL

10.  My skin is itchy.  With scleroderma, you usually get patches of thicker, itchy skin on different parts of your body.  And so far, I am very fortunate, in that I have very few of these patches.  However, my skin is frequently itchy all over...and that makes me start thinking of chicken pox...and head lice...and scabies...and other creepy, itchy things, and it makes me even more  itchy! 

Okay, that's a pretty big laundry list of my physical complaints.  Just a few more complaints...but these are more of an emotional nature.  I think I'd like to do another list...but let's stick to, let's say, maybe my top five  complaints for this one.  That way I don't bore you to death with my whining.

1.  I am frustrated that I have to now deal with my own health issues.  I have all I can handle, trying to deal with Miracle Man's health/learning concerns and raising my other 2 children, plus taking care of the dog, the cats, the house, my husband, etc.  I don't have the time  to be dealing with my own health issues.  And I don't feel  like running to doctor's appointments for myself, on top of all of the appointments for Miracle Man and my other two lovelies.  I don't wanna do it and you can't make me!  (Ooops, sorry...flashback from childhood!)

2.  I don't want this to be my body now.  I want to run.  Marathons.  Many, many  Marathons.  I wanted to be able to run one in every state by the time I eventually retired from running.  I even wanted to run a few internationally.  And I don't want to feel like I am 80 years old when I have so much life left and so much to experience as a mom.  I don't want to feel like a slug at all.  I want to play hardcore with my kiddles.  Was this an invasion  of the body snatchers?

3.  Even though this diagnosis is all so new to me, I already feel so alone in this disease.  I don't know anybody with scleroderma.  And whenever you tell someone that you have something that they cannot visually see, they often don't "get it".  It makes me feel...so.very.isolated...already .  Nobody seems to understand.  Even though people are caring and compassionate, they still don't really get it, because they haven't experienced it.  I feel like some people think I am just whiny and that I should just "suck it up", but it's not  simply a matter of just "sucking it up".  I wish it were that simple.  I wish I could just "make up my mind" to feel better .  That would make EVERYTHING so much easier!

4. I find myself to be...annoying.  That's strange, isn't it?  But it's true .  Sometimes, I just get so cranky and miserable and I am totally annoyed with myself for it, but I have a hard time changing  my mood.  I have found, though, that if  I can be silly with the kids, or listen to some music, it sometimes helps.  Just not always . And I don't want  to be stuck in those kinds of moods.

5.  Sitting/resting makes me feel lazy.  I don't like it.  I never have.  I have always been on-the-go...since...ummmm...forever .  I think that's why I am enjoying blogging so very much lately.  Because it makes me feel like I am actually accomplishing  something (other than keeping the couch warm), in between taking care of the kids.  And it   bugs.the.heck.out.of.me   to think that other  people  might think that I am just being lazy.  I mean, it really drives me BoNkErS!  And it shouldn't  matter what other people think.  But we live in a work, work, work culture, and I know I  have a hard time with it, just for myself.  So, I am sure there are many people who already think this or will think this of me.  And that feels terrible to me.

Well, that's it. For now.  As I said above, I promise I won't do this often.  I am glad I was able to get this off my chest.  And I am going to work hard to stay positive and focus on maintaining my health and taking care of my family as best I can.  Thank you to those of you who actually read this post all the way down to here!

That's all folks,
MM

P.S.  Feel free to leave a comment for me below...just be gentle, please.  I'm feeling a little bit fragile emotionally right now.  Thanks!  ;)

Ways to Keep Kids Active During the Winter Months

Kids need exercise.  Even in the winter.  All of the media coverage of The Obesity Epidemic in our country could tell you that.  But in case you've missed it, our nation's kids are overweight.  They are spending too much time in front of the TV, the computer, and playing video games.  They are eating entirely too much junk food, and not nearly enough fruits and vegetables.  Yet, we are the adults. We purchase the junk food.  We purchase the video games.  We allow too much TV.   In a sense, then, it is our own fault that our children are overweight. 

With that being said, what are we to do, as parents, to keep your little ones healthy or reverse any bad habits we have already begun?  Well, the first thing we need to do is to encourage our families to eat healthy.  We need to stop stocking up on junk food and start filling our refrigerators with natural foods...try to think: plants.  There are, of course, the old standbys:  Apples, oranges, grapes, bananas, pears, raisins, etc.  But why not try something different, as well:  kiwi, pomegranate, mango. 

We are in control of what our children eat at home by virtue of the fact that we purchase the items in our cabinets.  If we don't want our children eating too many chips, or too much candy, we simply need to...Stop Buying It.  We also need to be good role models to our kids.  If we want them to choose healthy snacks, we need to eat healthy snacks.  We can't tell our children to eat a banana for a snack, for instance, while we are eating a candy bar.

In addition to healthy eating habits, our children need more exercise.  In the spring, summer, and fall, this is much easier to do.  But when the temperatures drop, how can we get our kids to be more active? 

In my family, we are not dealing with overweight children, but rather a case of Too Much Energy.  My daughter is 5 and has ALWAYS had a ton of energy.  The winter months are always the most difficult time of the year for us.  She has too much stored energy, which can lead to behavior and sleeping issues if we don't get her the exercise her body needs. Over the years, we have had to come up with many different ways to ensure she gets that exercise.  Of course, it was much easier to do when there was just her.  Now that we have the twins, as well, it is harder to fit in some of the different types of activities that we used to.  But, it is also more important that we burn up that extra energy so that 1. she is not driving us crazy while we are taking care of the boys, 2.  she doesn't wake the boys when they are napping, and 3.  so that she knows we still love and care for her very much and want her to get the things that she needs from us, too...not just the boys. 

With all of this in mind, I am going to outline several things you can do at home with your children to encourage them to move their bodies and get exercise in the winter, whether it is to keep them healthy or get out some energy.

Inside The House

• Have a dance party.  In my house, we call it a Dance Party USA.  And it works like this:  I turn on the music and my daughter and I dance to it. It's simple.  And the best part is that nobody else can see my hideous dance moves, so I am free to be myself.  This is also an easy activity for my daughter to do by herself if I am busy cleaning or tending to my babies.  She loves to dance and she can literally do it for hours.  She throws in some "break-dancing" moves every now and then (which are quite challenging to replicate, by the way).  The only rule:  don't break anything.
• Play hide-and-go-seek.  This traditional outdoor game takes on a new twist when you bring it inside.  Better yet, turn out the lights and give each family member a flashlight.  This is a great family game, but it works well when my daughter has a play date or her cousins are over, as well.  The kids love it and they are far less likely to argue...as long as there is adult supervision.  The kids are up, moving around the house, instead of glued to the tube.
• Two words:  Hula Hoop.  This is a great indoor activity.  If you do not have a hula hoop yet.  Go.Get.One.  They are very inexpensive...under $5, I believe.  And they are fun!  You can try one, too!  We have a small one for our daughter, but I have used the larger one and it is a challenge, but it works your abdominal muscles for sure!
• Jump Rope...yes, that's correct.  I did say "jump rope".  Find a spot somewhere in the house where you are okay with your child(ren) jump roping and let them have at it.  We have a basement, where I allow our daughter to jump until her heart is content (or at least pumping hard!).  And if you don't have a jump rope (or even if you do), you could just have a jumping contest.  See how long your child can jump without stopping...then have them beat their own last length of time.
• You could also find a place in the house where you can put down a hopscotch board...using tape.  Simply make the boxes out of masking tape right on your floor.  Again, I use our basement floor for this, but you could put it in a hallway, on the kitchen floor, in your garage, etc.
• Have your child do some yoga moves.  My daughter loves to roll out my yoga mat and do yoga.  She learned some of the moves in preschool and continues to practice them every now and then.
• Do you have a treadmill/elliptical/stationary bike?  Adjust the settings and let your child get some use out of the equipment, too!  I have a treadmill in my basement and I allow my daughter to use it on a very slow (walking) pace.  But the rule is that I have to be there with her.  She is pretty good about following this rule.  I also attach the safety strap to her so that if something were to happen, the machine cuts off immediately.  When she wants to speed it up a little bit, I get on the treadmill with her and walk behind her.  She has walked at least a mile on the treadmill with me. 
• I also have some free weights that she likes to use, too.  Now, don't get me wrong...she is not pumping serious iron here.  She really only lifts my 2.5 lb or 5 lb weights a couple of times...but it helps burn some of that energy she has.
• I am not a big proponent of video games.  As I mentioned before, children are sitting in front of the TV, playing them for way too long.  However, I do have the Xbox Kinect.  And let me tell you, it can burn up some serious energy.  If you have the Kinect, or have the means to purchase one for your Xbox, it really can help get kids (and yourself) moving!  The only trouble with it is that we have had difficulties with the sensor recognizing our daughter.  But when it works well, she has a blast and moves her body like there's no tomorrow!
• If you have stairs in your house, you can have your child walk up and down them as many times as they can before they get tired.  Make it fun...turn it into a game!

Outside

• Just putting on all the outdoor gear can be tiring for some children!  So have them get dressed and get them out there!
• All of the old standbys that we used to do outside in the snow when we were kids are still just as fun!  Think:  make a snowman, make snow angels, snowball fights, make a snow fort, shovel!  I cannot believe how much my daughter likes to shovel!  Bonus for me, right?!
• Make tracks in the snow.  See the differences between the tracks you make while walking, running, or marching. 
• Go on a hunt for animal tracks.
• Try snow shoeing.
• Go cross-country skiing.  I purchased cheaper, little skis for my daughter when she was 3.  She loves putting them on and sliding around on the snow.  I got them at a Play It Again new/used sporting goods store.  Hers were new, but they did have used equipment, as well...including snow shoes.
• Go ice skating (obviously think safety first if you are skating on a pond).  Find a rink that rents ice skates if you do not have them. 
• Kick around a ball in the snow.  It's a lot harder to get it to move!
• Play tag/chase your child(ren). 
• When there's no snow, but it is still cold outside, bundle up and get out there for a walk anyway! 
• Walk around the neighborhood.
• Take your child(ren) for a run around the neighborhood...just make sure they are bundled up and all of their needs have been met before heading out (i.e. potty, hunger, thirst, etc.).
• Go on a nature hike. 
• Prepare a scavenger hunt and look for all of those items on your list.
• Make food for the animals and bring it outside.  We covered pine cones with peanut butter and birdseed, then walked around outside until we found the perfect tree to hang them from.  Bonus:  go back to the tree each day to see how much of the food has been eaten.
• Go to a park. 
• Have running/skipping/hopping contests outside with all of the gear on.
• Jump rope with all of the gear on.
• Find a big hill and go sledding...walking back up the hill burns a TON of energy! 
• No sled?  No problem!  Walk up the hill and run or roll down it!

Getting your kids the exercise they need in the winter months can be challenging, but it can be done.  Give some of my ideas a try!  And if you have some other suggestions, feel free to leave a comment and I can add them to the list!  I will also continue to update this post as I think of more activities, so check back!