Sanity Breaks

Both today and yesterday I ran 4 miles on the treadmill.  I am gaining my confidence back and feeling more like my old self, just a whole heap slower.  My joints are still achy and I also noticed that my C-section area has been bothering me.  I wonder how long that will last.  This is definitely a long, slow challenge to come back to running, but I am finally feeling like my current goals are achievable and I am even considering what races to sign up for this year.  I am nervous about committing to something yet, though, because I have only just begun to run consistently.  I am one of those people who likes to have a goal to focus on to keep the momentum going.  It gives me a purpose for this "torture" I put my body through.  wink wink

Waiting for the boys to both take a nap at the same time so that I can run, though, can get frustrating.  They are still sick and we went back to the pediatrician again today.  He wants to try a different medication for them.  But with them being sick and irritable, they haven't really been on the same schedule much in the past few days.  It can be overwhelming listening to both of them cry all day long, so I really cherish my running time even more right now.  And I rely on their nap times for my running "sanity breaks".  For me, this is anxiety-producing, though, when they just aren't napping well.  Luckily, I got my sanity breaks 2 days in a row!!  Wooohoooo!!!

Starting All Over Again

When I was pregnant with my daughter, I ran throughout the whole pregnancy until I was told to stop.  With the twins, though, my doctor told me that I wasn't allowed to do any activity at all, other than walking.  So, the Goofy Challenge in Disney last January, was really the only running I did in 2011, with the exception of the few miles I did in December to try to start running again. 

Recovering from the deliveries (both kinds, of course), especially the emergency C-Section, took a long time.  In fact, I still feel like I am recovering.  Besides that, the weight of the babies put a lot of stress on my body, for sure. 

It has taken a long time to get to the point where I have felt that my body was ready to run again.  In fact, it was at least 6 weeks before I even went for a real walk.  And, realistically, I do not have a ton of extra time on my hands with the twins, Little Miss, two cats, keeping up our home, and all of the doctor's appointments, as well as the hospital visits and surgery over the past few months. 

In any case, I am a runner.  And running is my passion.  It is my exercise.  It is my escape.  It's when I think and process.  It is my fun.  It is also how I can manage to stay sane, so now that we have the twins, more than ever, I need it.  And I miss being part of my Team. 

So, I have begun running again.  But.it.is.Hard.  It is always hard to start back up after a long absence, but after this whole past year of no running or exercise, it is really Hard. 

Last week, I finally managed to push through 3 miles a few times.  It wasn't pretty, and it wasn't quick.  But I did it.  So, this past Sunday, Prince Charming finally set up my treadmill for me in our new basement. I am hoping that I will be able to run regularly, even if it is just for a few miles, while the boys take their naps (assuming they nap at the same time). 

My goal is to try to be up to 5 miles by the end of January so that I can return to my beloved Team.  We meet only one day a week, so I think this is a realistic goal.  And besides, it will be my guaranteed, few hours per week for Me.  Of course, it means losing out on a few extra hours of sleep (and, no, the boys are not yet sleeping through the night).  But I am willing to sacrifice a few hours of sleep to get back to where I belong.

I was fortunate enough to be able to run on Tuesday of this week,  but the boys only gave me time to accomplish 2 miles in the morning.  Then, they granted me another 2 miles a few hours later.  But with them being sick, they are my priority, so the past two days I wasn't able to run at all, but today...

Today, I ran 3 miles.  I had all I could do to complete those three miles!  Not having been able to run much in the past week made it soooooo incredibly challenging!  But I repeated my mantra of the day, "Don't give up.  Don't give up.  Don't give up," in my head over and over.  That was how I got through the pain.  Well, that and a little music! 

After the 3 miles, I got off the treadmill.  I was very frustrated that it was so incredibly hard to run those three miles, so after a short rest period, I went back on for one mile of sprint work.  I am determined to get up to those 5 miles by the end of the month!