This is how I am feeling today. I haven’t been sleeping well this week. My #glucose numbers aren’t so great even though I am working super hard on controlling them with my diet. And I’ve been so alone throughout my whole pregnancy (well, with the exception of my three screaming meemies 😜). It’s very hard. I am having a difficult time getting excited about this baby. I know that in the end, I will love and adore her just as much as my other three. But with everything I’ve been going through, alone, it’s just.so.hard. Of course I know how this makes me sound. And I know how desperate other women are to have children, so there is enormous guilt associated with my admission and my feelings. And I really do believe she is a gift. I’m just being real. This is where I am at. Alone. Frightened. Worried. Sad. Angry. Exhausted. #truth #pregnancy #pregnant #advancedmaternalage #pregnantat41 #gestationaldiabetes #emotional #chronicandpregnant #fibroandpregnant #chronicillness #fibromyalgia #scleroderma #ibs #fml #depression #anxiety #blogpost #momlife #momoffour #canirunaway #wouldanyonemissme

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This is my go-to #breakfast most mornings... 2 eggs Diced onion (usually red) Spinach 4 diced kalamata olives 3 slices of Roma tomato diced Sometimes I add a smidgen of cheese with it, too. Today wasn’t one of those days, though. 😜 This dish is so low-carb I don’t even bother to count the #carbs anymore. It’s literally probably three carbs, maybe? It definitely comes in way below my targeted 🎯 range. #gestationaldiabetes #manageyourglucose #pregnant #pregnancy #chronicandpregnant #fibroandpregnancy #advancedmaternalage #chronicillness #liveneggsup #newlifestyle #eatinghealthy #spoonie #mealplanning #lowcarblifestyle #lowcarb #eatyourveggies #eatyourgreens #yummmm #blogpost

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Today I am trying a new smoothie for breakfast that has a combination of vanilla protein powder, strawberries, almonds and almond milk, and spinach. It’s not bad. It tastes a little bit sweeter than I thought it would. But the carbs are still pretty low....close to 26 (the goal is to be below 30 for breakfasts and snacks). But this #smoothie has a lot of protein in it, too, so that helps combat or balance the effects of any carbs that are in it. For those interested, here is the #smoothierecipe : 1/2 cup unsweetened vanilla almond milk 1/4 cup almonds 1 cup frozen strawberries 1/4 vanilla protein powder Handful of spinach Fill the rest of a single serve blending cup with water That’s it. Super simple and easy, but tasty and filling. So, my endocrinologist is wondering if I may actually have #type1diabetes (which, I am learning, is different than #type2diabetes in that it is an autoimmune diabetes). Typically, this is the type of diabetes that children are diagnosed with. However, it can, according to the endocrinologist, remain dormant in your system until it is triggered and then can be a diagnosed as late as even 60 years of age. Once all is said and done and the baby is born, they usually test a patient with gestational diabetes for two months after the pregnancy to see if the blood sugars return to normal. So I will be doing all of that, but once that postpartum period is over, she is going to look into whether or not I have type one diabetes, as well. Long story short: I might as well embrace this as a new lifestyle, rather than just a temporary change. 🤷🏼‍♀️ #chronicillness #chronicandpregnant #diabetesawareness #diabetesawarenessmonth #diabetesawarenessday #gestationaldiabetes #pregnancy #pregnancyproblems #advancedmaternalage #fibroandpregnancy #fibromyalgia #momlife #spoonie #blogpost #momof4 #pregnantat41

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Yesterday was my first full day of monitoring my blood sugar levels as a momma with #gestationaldiabetes . So here’s the breakdown in how it works. First thing in the morning, before I have any breakfast, I test my blood sugar level and log it on a recording sheet. To prep for that test, all I have to do is make sure my hands are clean and that I have inserted a new lancet in the finger pricker. I can then have breakfast, and from the moment any food touches my mouth, I have to set a timer so that I can take another test exactly 1 hour after the start of eating. I’m learning a lot about controlling the carb intake at various times throughout the day. For those of you who have never gone through this or any other type of diabetes, it’s interesting to note that, although you have to be aware of your carb intake throughout the day, morning time is of the upmost importance. My diabetes educator explained to me that at breakfast time, I can have between 15 and 30 g of carbs (but no more than that). That basically eliminates any type of cereal (due to the carb count in the cereal, as well as the milk). It also eliminates traditional pancakes, French toast, bagels...pretty much everything most Americans have for breakfast (except for eggs). The focus during breakfast, she explained it to me, should be to have a lot of protein. Yesterday morning, rather than cook up an egg, I opted for half of a 100% whole wheat sandwich thin With 1 tablespoon of all natural peanut butter. I also had a quarter of a cup of cottage cheese, and approximately 1 ounce of Colby Jack cheese. For that breakfast my carb count was around 17 1/2 g. I was aiming to... #blogpost

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Another Day, Another Mile

So, I did get up and go for a run with my Team In Training friends yesterday.  We ran for 4 miles.  That was my first 4 miler since getting pregnant with my twins. 

I did a little bit of pumping just before heading out the door to make sure Prince Charming would be able to calm the boys before I got back if they woke up.  But it wasn't a full feeding for them, since I had just fed them.

Getting out of the house by myself two days in a row was, let's just say...AWESOME!!  After four months of non-stop craziness and being the sole caregiver, I guess I really needed to just be a "normal" human being for a while. 

The running part was pretty hard.  This was my third day in a row of running...a fete I had not yet accomplished up until this point.  And on top of it being the third day in a row, it was also the 4 miles that made it quite challenging.  I have always found that the first mile or two is tough...no matter how great of shape I am in.  So, naturally, yesterday's first two were hard.  Of course, there is the huffing and puffing that are Ridiculous.  But then, I also have the pain in my knees, my ankles, and my hips to contend with...all of which come from excess weight, the pregnancy's extra weight, and not exercising in forever.  Of all of the miles, I guess the third wasn't as bad as the others, but the 4th mile was pretty rough.  Luckily, the other people running with me are in a similar situation (not in the best shape), and so we were all feeling the challenge!  It helps so much to have other people suffer through it right along beside you!  Misery loves company!

But the worst of all of the pain I am currently experiencing on this journey back to fitness, is the pain I have in my pubic bone.  I hope I won't be cited for improper language on here for saying that.  The thing is that I would like other moms to know what it is like to come back to running and fitness after having a baby (or two).  And this pain is very real.  It is there all.day.long...whether I am walking, running, or laying down.  And now that I am starting to be able to increase my mileage, it seems to be a bit more painful.  Uuuuggh!  I just want my body back!

I have a body pillow that I sleep with at night for the hip pain and discomfort when my knees are touching as I lay on my side.  But that exacerbates the pain I have in my pubic bone right now.  It feels like the bone is going to split apart and break in two!  At the end of my pregnancy, I had started having this same pain from the weight of the boys on my body, but I guess I just figured it would go away once they were born.  I guess not.  I am thinking of heading to my Chiropractor for an adjustment.  I wonder if he could crack my hips in just the right way to put everything all back to normal.  Yes, my Chiropractor is a magician, too.  :)

Other than the aches and pains in my joints and bones, though, today I feel alright.  I don't have a ton of muscle soreness...a few tweaks here and there, but that's about it.  I am planning on taking today off from running, but possibly doing a little weight-lifting with the free weights I have at home...we shall see how I feel and how the boys are doing as the day progresses.  I wrote a separate post on the boys today...it's a funny one...check it out. :)

Running and Twin Gear Reviews

I just added a couple of pages for Gear I Run With and Twin Gear!  I am giving my opinions about all of the different kinds of gear I have purchased and used for running and for the twins.  On the Gear I Run With page, I have listed my shoes and socks so far, but I will be adding all sorts of gear that I train with on a regular basis, so check back for more reviews! 

On the Twin Gear page, you will see that at this point, I have only reviewed the strollers we have purchased, but I will be adding other gear to that page as time goes on, as well.  Stop back on by for more reviews on twin-related gear at a later date!

Starting All Over Again

When I was pregnant with my daughter, I ran throughout the whole pregnancy until I was told to stop.  With the twins, though, my doctor told me that I wasn't allowed to do any activity at all, other than walking.  So, the Goofy Challenge in Disney last January, was really the only running I did in 2011, with the exception of the few miles I did in December to try to start running again. 

Recovering from the deliveries (both kinds, of course), especially the emergency C-Section, took a long time.  In fact, I still feel like I am recovering.  Besides that, the weight of the babies put a lot of stress on my body, for sure. 

It has taken a long time to get to the point where I have felt that my body was ready to run again.  In fact, it was at least 6 weeks before I even went for a real walk.  And, realistically, I do not have a ton of extra time on my hands with the twins, Little Miss, two cats, keeping up our home, and all of the doctor's appointments, as well as the hospital visits and surgery over the past few months. 

In any case, I am a runner.  And running is my passion.  It is my exercise.  It is my escape.  It's when I think and process.  It is my fun.  It is also how I can manage to stay sane, so now that we have the twins, more than ever, I need it.  And I miss being part of my Team. 

So, I have begun running again.  But.it.is.Hard.  It is always hard to start back up after a long absence, but after this whole past year of no running or exercise, it is really Hard. 

Last week, I finally managed to push through 3 miles a few times.  It wasn't pretty, and it wasn't quick.  But I did it.  So, this past Sunday, Prince Charming finally set up my treadmill for me in our new basement. I am hoping that I will be able to run regularly, even if it is just for a few miles, while the boys take their naps (assuming they nap at the same time). 

My goal is to try to be up to 5 miles by the end of January so that I can return to my beloved Team.  We meet only one day a week, so I think this is a realistic goal.  And besides, it will be my guaranteed, few hours per week for Me.  Of course, it means losing out on a few extra hours of sleep (and, no, the boys are not yet sleeping through the night).  But I am willing to sacrifice a few hours of sleep to get back to where I belong.

I was fortunate enough to be able to run on Tuesday of this week,  but the boys only gave me time to accomplish 2 miles in the morning.  Then, they granted me another 2 miles a few hours later.  But with them being sick, they are my priority, so the past two days I wasn't able to run at all, but today...

Today, I ran 3 miles.  I had all I could do to complete those three miles!  Not having been able to run much in the past week made it soooooo incredibly challenging!  But I repeated my mantra of the day, "Don't give up.  Don't give up.  Don't give up," in my head over and over.  That was how I got through the pain.  Well, that and a little music! 

After the 3 miles, I got off the treadmill.  I was very frustrated that it was so incredibly hard to run those three miles, so after a short rest period, I went back on for one mile of sprint work.  I am determined to get up to those 5 miles by the end of the month!