This is my go-to #breakfast most mornings... 2 eggs Diced onion (usually red) Spinach 4 diced kalamata olives 3 slices of Roma tomato diced Sometimes I add a smidgen of cheese with it, too. Today wasn’t one of those days, though. 😜 This dish is so low-carb I don’t even bother to count the #carbs anymore. It’s literally probably three carbs, maybe? It definitely comes in way below my targeted 🎯 range. #gestationaldiabetes #manageyourglucose #pregnant #pregnancy #chronicandpregnant #fibroandpregnancy #advancedmaternalage #chronicillness #liveneggsup #newlifestyle #eatinghealthy #spoonie #mealplanning #lowcarblifestyle #lowcarb #eatyourveggies #eatyourgreens #yummmm #blogpost

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Today I am trying a new smoothie for breakfast that has a combination of vanilla protein powder, strawberries, almonds and almond milk, and spinach. It’s not bad. It tastes a little bit sweeter than I thought it would. But the carbs are still pretty low....close to 26 (the goal is to be below 30 for breakfasts and snacks). But this #smoothie has a lot of protein in it, too, so that helps combat or balance the effects of any carbs that are in it. For those interested, here is the #smoothierecipe : 1/2 cup unsweetened vanilla almond milk 1/4 cup almonds 1 cup frozen strawberries 1/4 vanilla protein powder Handful of spinach Fill the rest of a single serve blending cup with water That’s it. Super simple and easy, but tasty and filling. So, my endocrinologist is wondering if I may actually have #type1diabetes (which, I am learning, is different than #type2diabetes in that it is an autoimmune diabetes). Typically, this is the type of diabetes that children are diagnosed with. However, it can, according to the endocrinologist, remain dormant in your system until it is triggered and then can be a diagnosed as late as even 60 years of age. Once all is said and done and the baby is born, they usually test a patient with gestational diabetes for two months after the pregnancy to see if the blood sugars return to normal. So I will be doing all of that, but once that postpartum period is over, she is going to look into whether or not I have type one diabetes, as well. Long story short: I might as well embrace this as a new lifestyle, rather than just a temporary change. 🤷🏼‍♀️ #chronicillness #chronicandpregnant #diabetesawareness #diabetesawarenessmonth #diabetesawarenessday #gestationaldiabetes #pregnancy #pregnancyproblems #advancedmaternalage #fibroandpregnancy #fibromyalgia #momlife #spoonie #blogpost #momof4 #pregnantat41

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The Ultimate Guide to Family Travel as a Spoonie

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Coming fresh off our trip to Lake Placid, NY with the kids, I thought it might be helpful for other people struggling with chronic illness to hear how I manage to travel with kids, my dog, and my plethora of autoimmune and chronic illness issues. 

Here are my top 10 tips for family travel with fibromyalgia and other chronic illnesses:

If you are driving to your destination, there are several tips I have for you.  I haven't flown anywhere since my illnesses emerge, so I can't speak to that just yet.  But some of my tips are definitely useful for any type of travel, since I am sharing with you many of my tips for your time at your vacation spot!

1.  Pack everything you will need for the trip AND the car the day before you travel.  It's too much on your body to do all of the packing and preparing for the trip...and then drive/ride in the car for several hours all on the same day. If you can adjust your schedule to do so, plan the whole day beforehand as your packing day so that you can pack a little, rest a little, pack a little, rest a little.


2.  Travel in the morning, if you are able to, so that you are only contending with your typical pain and fatigue, not your typical plus all-the-packing-getting-ready-managing-kids-pain-and-fatigue.  You will most likely still feel additional pain and fatigue from packing the day before, but you will be better off with having some sleep in between packing and traveling.

3.  Hopefully you will be traveling with another adult companion, be it your spouse/significant other, family member, or friend.  You need someone to go with you that will be able to do at least half, if not the bulk of the driving.  Traveling in the car tends to be uncomfortable for Spoonies, whether driving or resting in the passenger's seat.  But the additional mental and physical energy it requires to drive long distances can be even more fatiguing and you don't want to wear yourself out before you even arrive at your destination!

4. Try to make frequent rest stops to use the bathroom, grab a bite to eat, and stretch your body out.  But keep them as short as possible.  You need to have the break from sitting, but the longer it takes you to reach your destination, the more fatigued you will be.  Of course, with kids in tow, frequent stopping is completely typical anyway, so take advantage of the kids' needs to meet your own, as well.  If you're like me and have IBS, too, that can mean more frequent stops, as well.  It can also mean that you may run into a situation where you need a rest area immediately, but there isn't one in sight.  Many times in the past, we have scooted off the highway to the nearest gas station, store, or fast food joint.  Just like for the kids, make sure you always have a package of wipes, plastic bags, and an extra outfit packed in your car that is easily accessible...just in case.

5. Try to schedule your trip so that you are not in a rush to get to your destination.  Even though the goal is to arrive in as little time as possible (limiting your sitting time), if you add the pressure and stress of a scheduled arrival time, it will increase your fatigue and pain.  So if you can, just go with the flow and try to enjoy the downtime with the family! 

6.  But also make sure you have activities for the children to do!  That's typically a mom no-brainer.  But when you have a chronic illness, the noise from the children being in such close proximity to your ears could make you extremely irritable.  You MUST prepare for them to be occupied if this is a possible outcome for you on your trip.  The point of traveling with your family is to have fun together and spend quality time together, not for the kids to be driving you nuts so much that you end up on the brink of insanity, screaming at them to JUSTBEQUIET because it truly hurts your ears due to their highly sensitive nature.   Oh, and also--the Quiet Game almost always works!  Whenever I say those magical words, "One, two, three, four, Quiet Game!"  I am guaranteed at least a couple of minutes of no whining, complaining, shouting, squealing...you get it! So use it whenever you need to!



7. Once you arrive at your destination and settle into your room, take at least a 20-30 minute rest.  If there is still time left in the day to do any sight-seeing or fun activities, you will need to recuperate as much as you can from the drive.  Of course, since we are often fatigued no matter how much rest we do get, you will most likely still feel it when you are up and moving about again, but that little bit of a rest could mean the difference between enjoying your family and wanting to cringe every time they speak.  (It ain't easy being a spooned!)

8.  Throughout your trip, plan times that you will be back in the hotel for downtime if you can.  The kids need the rest as much as you do (even if they don't want to admit it!).  I can't always get a nap in when we travel, but I have to have rest time planned into each day.  Sometimes that might mean just sitting down on a bench at a park or attraction for 15-20 minutes several times throughout the day if it's not feasible to go back to our room.  But life has changed since being diagnosed with my illnesses, and in order for me to last throughout the day, our pace for sight-seeing is no longer break-neck.  It might mean that we cannot do everything we'd like to do at our destination, but that's okay.  The point is to enjoy your family, experience new things together, and see the world. That doesn't mean that you have to kill yourself doing it!  You will be of no use to your family when you return home if you completely overdo it while you're away.

9.  The kids are probably going to want to take in all of the sights and activities that are energy-consuming for you.  But that doesn't mean you cannot choose an activity or two that is less physically-exhausting.  I find that when I plan activities for the children that are lower-key, mixed in with the exciting, all-consuming, physically-draining ones, it makes it less exhausting for them, too.  And they appreciate those moments just as much, when we are sitting in a park watching the squirrels, or next to the ocean/a lake/a stream breathing in the smells and relaxing to the sounds of the water.  Just as kids need to learn how to be "unplugged" from electronics, they also need to learn to just "be"...in nature, in the moment, with us, in our world...without the "whatarewedoingnext" mentality we've come to know and expect in our culture today.

10.  If you are able to, I highly recommend scheduling at least one down day right after you return from your trip.  Don't make any major plans to do ANYTHING!  And if you can, try to enlist the support of family or friends to help with the kids that first day you return home.  You will most likely need to rest quite a bit and the vacation laundry may have to wait a day or two, but it will all get done eventually.

If I think of more tips, I will come back to this post and edit it to include them, but for now, that's all, folks!  Do any of you have tips you could add to the list?  Please share them in the comments below!

Exhaustedly yours,
Marathon Momma

Are you a Marathon Momma?  Do you run marathons in between raising your little people to be decent humans? Or maybe you aren't a traditional runner, but a runner-after-kidser? Do you feel like every day is a marathon?  Yeah, me too!  Come join our community! Sign-up for our Email List!

To Draw, Or Not To Draw?

Adults are...coloring?!?  Yes, they are! In fact, they're heading to craft stores for adult coloring books in droves!  If you haven't yet seen any articles or posts about this in your own social media newsfeeds, there is growing research that indicates that drawing and coloring can be as peaceful and relaxing as meditation can be for adults. Having read all the hype, I decided, what the heck? Why not try it out? So, although I am not typically one known for jumping on the bandwagon, I decided to purchase an adult coloring book to aid me in my quest for relaxation. 

This is the one I bought, which I got at Joann Fabrics, but you can get it on Amazon, too, right here:

When I first took out my new coloring book to experience this so-called "meditative" coloring, I was very excited! I got out my special Zig Memory System artist's markers that I have for paper crafting and my good ol' colored pencils. 

I wasn't sure which one I would prefer to use, but I thought I'd give them both a try. Within the first few minutes of coloring, it was completely evident to me which medium I would prefer:  the colored pencils. This was because I didn't like the way the markers felt on the paper. And I also didn't like how the paper pilled up beneath the marker's brush after repetitive strokes, much like a wool sweater does (until you finally shave it with a sweater shaver).  Too, I wasn't crazy about being able to see the brush strokes within the design I was coloring.

Feeling a bit dismayed with the results the markers were giving me, I opted to start a new page using my colored pencils.  My colored pencils are just your average, run-of-the-mill colored pencils...you know, the ones you can buy at Walmart for twenty-five cents during the back-to-school sales at the end of the summer. I liked the feel of the colored pencil on the paper much better.  It glided easier and created a smoother look to my design.

Once I began working on my new page, I quickly realized that the design I had chosen was incredibly detailed...which, to me, felt overwhelming at times. I also realized that when you are working on a detailed design, you can choose to hone in on as much or as little of the details as you wish. I found that the more I colored, the more I wanted to find ways in which I could "chunk" the designs to make it simpler to color. Of course, the OCD part of me still continued to pay close attention to the minutiae. The solution I found to feeling this sense of being overwhelmed:  my next coloring page would be far less detailed! That will be my strategy for now...until I can find the peace and relaxation I am seeking. Once I discover my happy place, I will be able to choose some of the more intricate designs again.

The other snafu I ran into...quite frequently, might I add...was lack of peace and quiet! With 3 children, two dogs, and three cats, (plus a husband), there is very little of that around...EVER! Hence the quest for peace in the first place! If it wasn't the kids fighting (or avoiding bedtime with their pleas for a drink, a snack, or a trip to the moon, etc.), then it was inevitable that the dog would be chasing the cats around the house like her last meal had been two weeks ago! It's been INSANE trying to find that one moment of solitude to actually relax during the coloring. Hmmm...I have no solution for this problem...as of yet!  Perhaps just waiting until the kids are all grown and out of the house?!? 

Kids, dogs, cats, husbands, and any random farm animals aside, there were actually a few moments where I did enjoy the coloring!  And although it wasn't always relaxing, I did manage to complete my first page! 

Right before I actually bought a real coloring book, I had found a couple of iPhone and iPad apps that let you color a design in electronically. One of the apps, "Adult Coloring Book," by Groom Lake Development, lets you listen to relaxing music or nature sounds while you "color".  I really like the designs on this app a lot, and there are more to choose from in the free part of the app than the Recolor app.  The other app, "Recolor," by Sumoing, lets you choose which medium you wish for your final product to appear like you used when coloring it in. Here are the designs I colored:

 This mandala was colored and left "Plain" in the section that allows you to choose the medium.

 After this next mandala was colored, I choose the "Shadow" medium, which, as you can see, makes the design look as if it is more 3-dimensional with a shadow added to it.

In this one, after I colored it, I choose the "Shiny" medium.  I think it makes it look like plastic!  What do you think?

Pretty neat, huh? I definitely enjoyed coloring electronically. It allows you to make mistakes and then correct them, just like the "undo" button in Microsoft programs.  I also enjoyed tapping to color a whole section in.  It was wicked easy and less fatiguing on my hands than traditional coloring! All-in-all, I feel like the electronic coloring book definitely has a place and a purpose in this new wave of adult...errrrrr...entertainment. 

After these coloring experiences, I was in a local scrapbooking store and came across books that teach you how to draw what the books referred to as "Zentangles". This is a type of drawing I have been doing since high school...but I never knew it was an actual "thing"! Now, mind you, mine have always been slightly different and have not followed "their" prescribed patterns and rules. But it was so exciting to see that I had been drawing "something real"! I could not wait to find out more information and begin drawing these "doodles" in a more formal manner (aka...not just on the side of my papers, but perhaps in a real drawing journal!?!?). As soon as I could, I began searching for more information online about Zentangle.

Having found several websites and tons of pictures, I couldn't wait to begin! So on my next adventure outside of the house, I actually did purchase a real drawing journal and real, adult's colored pencils!!! My first coloring experience with the new pencils was amazing...far more enjoyable and surprising than I seriously could have imagined! It really is incredible the difference quality materials can make!

Here are the pencils I purchased:

And here is the page I colored with the new pencils:

The new colored pencils were much smoother and the lead felt softer. In contrast, the old colored pencils I had been using kept breaking every time I would touch them to my paper...even if I wasn't pressing that hard. And whenever I would sharpen them, they would just break right apart. I was getting really frustrated with them, so the difference with the new colored pencils was huge! The new pencils seemed to just glide over my paper...and the colors were beautiful!

Okay, I got off on a wee little tangent there...so, back to the Zentangle style of drawing. Now that I had a real sketchpad I was ready to begin my visual journal.  I chose to use two different Sharpies. An extra fine tip and a fine tip. I like the contrast between the sizes as I'm drawing. 

Here is the sketch journal I chose:

And here are my Sharpies:

When I first sat down to draw, I started with a little tiny square on my page and started doodling different designs inside of it, but then I wanted to expand my design. So, I started working outside of the box. I was trying to challenge myself to use different types of doodles than I've ever used before, and at times my imagination was stalled. I had to find different ideas. So i did what any self-respecting, up-and-coming artist would do: I went online! I looked at the Zentangle method again and people's pictures of their own artwork for ideas.

Once I had a couple of designs that I could doodle, it started to flow a lot easier for me. I really enjoyed the Zentangle-esque style of drawing! It was so much fun! Once I was finished with my first page, I couldn't wait to start my next! 

Here is my first page, in all it's glory (haha):

For my next page, I once again looked up some ideas online and then let my imagination flow. Here is what I came up with:

Although I like this new design, I felt it was a bit "chunky" looking. 

So, for my next design, I had wanted to do something with a lot of fine detail. I went online again and found a beautiful piece of artwork that someone else had drawn and I decided to use that as my springboard. I didn't want to replicate it, but I wanted to use it to spark my creativity. Here is what I drew:

I love how it came out! I was a little bit frustrated at times by a few of my details and how they didn't turn out the way I originally thought they would, but when I take a look at the whole piece of work, I am quite satisfied. One of the things that I found out about the Zentangle method is that you are supposed to accept everything that you draw. So, if you think something you've drawn is a mistake, instead of dwelling on it being a mistake, you're supposed to turn it into part of your design. I had to do that several times! But, I was able to figure out a pattern or doodle for each "error"...even though at first I was a little frustrated with myself. 

In any case, this is my favorite piece of work so far, and I can't wait to draw another one! I just haven't had any time in the past week. 

Thanks for reading and I hope you've enjoyed this post! Hopefully I've even inspired you to try coloring or drawing!! Feel free to share your experiences below, and don't forget to follow my blog if you like what you've read so far! 

Artistically yours,

Marathon Momma

Thankful

Recently, while thinking about Thanksgiving approaching, I was feeling blessed for my beautiful family and wonderful friends.  And that led me to begin thinking about all of the many things I am thankful for.  So, I decided that I would write a list of 27 things I am thankful for...one for each day of November leading up to and including the big feast...plus an extra!! Please note...these are not necessarily listed in ranked order!

1.  My husband, Prince Charming, who has been the love of my life since high school (that would be 23.5 years as of this writing).  We have made it through thick and thin. We've celebrated each other's successes, supported each other through difficult times, and have begun a beautiful family together. He is a very hard worker and I am proud of all that he has become.

2.  My smart, sweet, and beautiful daughter, Little Miss, who blows my mind with her math skills and performing talent. She may keep me on my toes at times, but she is an amazing little girl who has a heart of gold (standing over my shoulder, she tells me she wants me to write diamond instead of gold).  Ahhhhh, my princess!

3. Chub-Chub. He is an energetic, silly, loving, little "big" boy. He loooooves to play with his cars!  I don't think there is a single square foot of our house and car that don't have a hot wheels hidden somewhere. He is my shadow and loves to "nuggle" with me.

4.  I'm thankful for Miracle Man.  I'm incredibly humbled and grateful to have him in our lives.  Having almost lost him when he was 7 weeks old, we give thanks each and every day that he smiles upon us. He is silly, giggly, and loving. He loves our dog, Boomer, more than anything in the world, and Boomer is incredibly tolerant of him.  We love watching him make amazing gains in his development. He truly is our Miracle Man!

5.  My mother, who has shown me a different side of her than I ever knew before.  She has been a great support to me recently.  Having had a strained relationship in the past, the effort she has made to reunite us has been incredible.  I am thankful for the love she has shown me. And I am thankful for the beginning of a new chapter in our lives together.

6.  My dearest friend, Dee, who has been my rock for many years.  I could not have survived the past 4 years without her constant support and love.  Even as she battles cancer, she still takes care of me and my family. I think she is applying for sainthood sometime soon.



7.  My little sister, who has shown me love and support through very trying times. I can't even count the number of times she has been to the hospital with me and my children this year.

8. My little brother, aka Lil' Bro. He's hilarious, and sweet...and very loving.  Although he lives far away from me (waaaayyyy too far), and I haven't seen him in 3 years...and despite his own busy life, he still manages to offer me his love and support. Plus, he idolizes me! 'Nuf said!

9. My older brother and his family. We've shared some wonderful times together over the years. I just wish they didn't live on another continent. It makes it super hard to visit!

10. All of my sisters-in-law, brothers-in-law, nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles, other family members.  Each of them have shown me kindness and love over the years.

11. Boomer, my first dog.  He is incredibly sweet and patient.  I love how his big butt wiggles along with his tail when he's happy.

12.  Kallie, the first dog I've raised from a puppy.  She is just what I needed.  Her companionship and love mean the world to me.

13.  My friends, many of whom are reading this right now.  How could I not be grateful for the love, time, support, and special moments we've shared? You've all contributed to my journey...sometimes in ways you cannot even imagine. Kindness given and received infiltrates the soul.  This is what you have done for me.

14.  Cheetos.  The crunch.  The cheese.  What's not to love?

15.  My kittens, Komet and Kupid, who have moved right into our lives and our hearts.  They are non-stop purring machines that love to cuddle.  They came to us at a difficult time and helped fill a void.

16.  My Ipad.  I know it's a material thing, but this material thing has given me countless hours of entertainment and knowledge on the days when my fatigue and pain mean that all I can do is hold down the couch.

17.  My bed.  It is incredibly comfortable. Sometimes it is the only place where I can get comfortable.

18.  My home.  It may not be the nicest, biggest home in the world, but it's ours. And it is filled with love.  It is also our sanctuary from the crazy outside world.

19.  My readers.  There may be only 2 of you, but I'm grateful for that!  Thank you for your support!  You're AWESOME!!

20.  When my children listen and follow directions. 'Cuz that's like...never.

21.  My health.  Despite the challenges I face, it could be worse!  I am thankful that it's not.  Hey, I'm seeing the glass half-full!

22.  Movie nights.  When the whole family is hanging together, "nuggling". Plus...the kids aren't fighting or running around the house screaming like wild banshees!  BONUS!!

23.  My neighborhood. There are many wonderful people living here!  I am having a blast getting to know our neighbors over the past several years.

24.  Random strangers at the store.  'Cuz sometimes, a lady just needs to talk to SOMEONE!  ANYONE!! Especially someone taller than 42 inches!

25.  Books! Tangible old-school books, eBooks, audiobooks, hard cover, soft cover, picture books, non-fiction, fiction, you name it.  I am grateful for the authors who can transport me into another world and teach me things I did not know. 

26. Music.  It fills my soul. It can heal me, calm me, pump me up.  It can ease my troubles, and bring such joy!  I love to watch my kiddles dancing to music!  That is truly one of the most enjoyable moments I experience as a parent of young'uns.

27.  Hot showers.  The warmth radiating over my aching body soothes me like nothing else can. I only wish my hot water lasted longer, and my energy wasn't zapped each time I take one. But I truly am grateful for this fabulous remedy.

Twenty-seven things is a long list, but at the same time, it's hard to narrow down the people, places, and things I am grateful for to only that many.  I challenge you to try it, too!  There really are many wondrous people and things in our lives. 

Gratefully yours,

Marathon Momma

This is Halloween, Halloween, Halloween!

Halloween has been my favorite holiday since 1976. The day I was born. OK, maybe not that long...since I wasn't aware of anything for a few years yet. Still, I have always loved Halloween. I was the girl who continued to trick-or-treat all through high school. And into college, I still wore costumes. Then it was time to start having Halloween parties while I was in grad school and that continued through until I had the twins. I have always decorated to the nines for my favorite holiday. I have more decorations for Halloween than for Christmas...and we're talking like six or seven giant bins! The fun and excitement of Halloween has always captured my heart, and the child in me never gave it up.

This year, was a little different, though. I was feeling overwhelmed, my body has been in pain, and I was feeling depressed. Although I felt guilty about it, I didn't decorate or do any of my usual fall or Halloween activities with my children. Last weekend, we did finally go buy our pumpkins. But I didn't have the energy or desire to carve them. I had purchased the boys costumes ahead of time, but not Little Miss's. That ended up being fine, because she decided she wanted to be a rockstar, anyway. And we already had things around the house that we could use to pull together a costume for her. So that worked out fine.

As Halloween was nearing this week, and Little Miss kept asking to carve her pumpkin, I finally relented and spent Thursday evening doing that with the children. Well, sort of. Little Miss carved her own and she did a great job! 

The boys well, they didn't really want to have much to do with it. Chub-Chub did try to carve a little and scoop out some of the pulp and seeds. 

But Miracle Man didn't want to even touch the pumpkin guts! It totally freaked him out! He did, however, take the stem off!

So basically, I carved three pumpkins-mine and the boys's!! Here they all are:

Little Miss's is the bottom left pumpkin.

So, there. We carved the pumpkins. But we still didn't have any decorations up. The kids kept asking if we could go ahead and put them up, and so I figured that we would do that on Friday. Sure, there would be only one day left before Halloween, but at least it was a day before and not the day after! Besides, I decided I would only pull out a few things so that it wouldn't be as exhausting and as much work for me.

Friday night came (all too quickly)! And there we were, pulling out the Halloween decorations. All of a sudden, MiracleMan  started running around the house shrieking, "Aahhhh! It's a spider! Aahhhh!!" He had pulled out one of my furry spiders and was so thrilled with the thing that he was making a huge deal out of it!

And it was at that moment that I realized that I had to do this for my children. No matter how terrible I felt. It was important to them. And they loved it!

The more they all screamed and shreiked and got excited, the more I kept pulling out and hanging up. Miracle Man's excitement especially continued to escalate! He grabbed my phone and started snapping pictures. He's a budding photographer (wink, wink). Here's a sample of his work:

They almost look like pics from a horror movie, don't they!?

Chub-chub was fun, too. His excitement for the night was setting up my giant skeleton that stands over 6 feet tall and says things when you walk past him. I set him up inside the house on Friday, but on Saturday I put him outside the house where the trick-or-treaters would be walking past. Mwahahahaha!!!!

Chub-chub couldn't wait to open the box and put him together, but once he heard the skeleton speaking, he wanted me to put him back in the box! Immediately!! Which I did NOT do! Of course, that doesn't quite compare to our dog, Kallie's, reaction. She was quite unnerved by this giant skeleton man! She wouldn't stop barking at him!! I had to turn him off and "introduce" him to her. She did eventually get used to him last night and all was well.

So, in the end, we had a great time, even if I got to the point where I was flat-out exhausted! The kids were thrilled to have decorations up for Halloween! And I was grateful to them for bringing me back some of my Halloween joy. 

When Saturday finally dawned, I couldn't wait to take them trick-or-treating! We cleaned a little bit and prepared some food, as we also got ready for trick-or-treaters. The boys took their afternoon nap, and once they woke up, it was time for costumes! :-) The boys were firemen, and Little Miss was her rockstar costume. She was too cold in it, though, so she covered up with her jacket. Kallie was a bumble bee, and I was a "good" witch (though some might argue that point). Prince Charming pulled out his cow costume that we got for him many years ago. Our whole family was ready to go!

We had a nice evening, walking, chatting with neighbors...and the kids brought home a ton of candy for us! Oops! I mean for themselves....yeah, themselves!

Today, I'm a train wreck. Every single part of my body hurts. And I am feeling incredibly fatigued. I didn't really move around the house much today at all. But, I am thrilled that I had enough energy yesterday so that I could enjoy trick-or-treating with my children! 

And in the end, I'm grateful to my children for reminding me, once again, that this is all about them. And I have to push through my pain, exhaustion, and depression, for them! They need me. They need me to show them how to have fun and how to celebrate holidays. They need me to teach them that it's OK to still be young and not have to shoulder any adult burdens. They need their momma to be who she used to be...even if only for a day!! I'm thankful for my kiddles...in some new ways, even.

Feeling blessed,

Marathon Momma 

In a Nutshell

It's been a while again since my last post.  It's been hectic in our household. Miracle Man and Chub-Chub have turned four and Little Miss has turned nine. We lost our beloved doggie, Khloe, unexpectedly and suddenly. Prince Charming is working around-the-clock, and his business is doing well. Miracle Man is making good progress in his school program, Chub-Chub loves being a big boy now, and Little Miss is thriving in school! Phew!! That's the shortest update I think I've ever written!

As for me, well, I continue to receive diagnoses. "Woohoo!" (She says sarcastically!) And with another one potentially on the way, sometimes it feels like the diagnoses just won't stop coming! 

Daily, fatigue remains a fire-breathing-dragon chasing me down and often incinerating me. Yesterday I was so fatigued, for instance, that I took not one, but TWO long naps!!! The changing weather definitely effects my pain and fatigue. I am trying to live in the moment, acknowledging my body's needs with acceptance and flexibility. It can be frustrating, though, especially when it comes to my children. I feel like I am missing out on a lot with them due to the fatigue in particular...especially all the little moments. On the days when I have more energy, I try to make it a point to do things with them that will be memorable and enriching.

I've recently begun to learn about meditation and mindfulness to help me cope with the emotional aspects of living with these illnesses. I haven't gotten very much into it yet, having only read one book and tried meditating just once so far. I struggled with the intense focus required during that meditation because the pain factor was kicking in. My shoulders and back were aching and I had stabbing pains while I was sitting on the floor. I'm hoping that when I try it again, I won't be experiencing the pain. 

I have also begun following the FODMAP diet on my doctor's orders, which is similar in some ways to the Paleo diet, only more strict. For example, I have had to eliminate garlic and onions from my diet! Imagine that!! Try cooking without garlic!! It's a feat unto itself!! Though, I have to say that I am getting used to it by now, since I've been on the diet for several months. But sometimes it does feel like SUFFERING! Lol

That's about it in a nutshell...feel free to leave a comment below...especially if you have experience with the FODMAP diet, as I'd love some more tips!

Garlic-less yours,

Marathon Momma

P.S. No vampires are welcome in my house! ;)

The Bus Stops Here

I was driving by a bus stop today and started thinking to myself...I could park my car in the parking lot........get on the bus........and go somewhere....Forever. I could leave behind this life that, at the moment (a very long moment), I feel like I merely........exist.........in.

I actually started plotting out my escape as I was driving further down the road. I could get on one bus, take it somewhere, anywhere. Then, transfer to another one, and make my way down to Tennessee to visit my brother, whom I have not seen in 3 years. From there, I would go down even further south, like Florida, perhaps...where it's warmer and the cold and damp wouldn't hurt my body so much. Of course, it is damp there, though. Or maybe I could head over to California. I would love to go back to San Diego sometime! I could travel. Alone. Without anybody. I've done it before. I could do it again. I don't need anything.  There are soooooo many places I could go! And there would be so much freedom! And...quiet. Ahhh, yes! Quiet.

But I've never been a quitter. One of my favorite songs has always been Simon and Garfunkel's, "The Boxer." There's a line in it that says, "In the clearing stands a boxer, and a fighter by his trade. And he carries a reminder of every club that laid him down or cut him till he cried out, in his anger and his shame, 'I am leaving, I am leaving,' but the fighter still remains." I had wanted that to be my yearbook quote when I was a senior in high school, because that was, and is me. Even despite it all, and despite any complaining, I always stick it out, push through it, and fight for what I believe is right. Unfortunately, that quote that was so near and dear to me was too long to fit in the eensy weensy space below my photograph in the yearbook, so I couldn't use it.  I ended up choosing another line from a different song, by the way...this time by the Beatles. "Here comes the sun."

Life has never been easy for me. I grew up in a broken home, emotionally abused, physically abused, neglected. I overcame obstacles that were insurmountable. I went to college, graduated with honors; then went on to graduate school and got my Masters...with a 3.9 GPA. I made something of myself. I followed all the rules. I did everything I was supposed to. And I never, ever quit. I always took a difficult situation as a challenge...and overcame it. But I never, no never quit. So I will not quit now. But damn, it sure sounds easier!  And where did all this goody-two-shoeing get me in the end? I've got this horrible illness that nobody understands, some people don't believe, and it is debilitating. I can't work. I can't use my degree that I worked so hard for (and am still paying on). I don't get to enjoy the career I longed for and loved. I don't get to really and truly live life and enjoy it. I feel like I've been robbed of the life and future I worked so hard to earn. And I feel like my children are being robbed of the mother they deserve.

Maybe instead of being a rule-follower, from now on I should be a rule-breaker? Hmmm....thinking...thinking...

Wondering if I really could rebel,
Marathon Momma

P.S. Just in case I do end up a "missing person," please don't tell 'em where I am! ;)
P.P.S. It is also true that I wouldn't make it very far in my travels with this crappy body that I have now.

Straight on 'til Morning

I went to my daughter's play last night. It was adorable! She is in Peter Pan. The set, the costumes, the props, and the actors are all amazing! What a treat to see my daughter smiling so much! She did a super job in her role as a fairy. So cute!

My stupid fibromyalgia, however, really flared up during the performance. I had pain in my back, my tailbone, my legs, and my hips. I got very stiff and achy sitting there. But the worst part was in my upper body. My right shoulder and neck had stabbing pain that radiated all the way down through my arm into my wrist. It hurt so badly I just wanted to cry. I had Prince Charming massage my arm a little bit while I was sitting there, but it didn't really relieve the pain. What I really needed was some meds, but I didn't have any on me. I am going to have to remember to carry some in my purse at all times. 

As much as I enjoyed the play, I was grateful when it was over so that I could go home. It was difficult to get to sleep last night with the pain. But eventually I did, and I slept like a rock. These outings really take all of my energy. It's 10 AM and I still haven't moved to get out of bed. The fatigue of Fibro really sucks. 

Hoping for a pain-free day (despite the fatigue),

Marathon Momma

Done With the ER

So, it was about 12:30 AM before I finally saw the doctor in the ER yesterday...That would be about 11 hours after I arrived. When I finally saw the doctor at that point, I had a terrible migraine. I was so beside myself I was actually crying to the doctor about how much pain I was in and how terribly I felt they treated me.

Somewhere around 9 PM, I had finally asked the nurse for Tylenol, just to take the edge off the migraine throughout the evening, but they couldn't do anything for me until I saw the doc. I couldn't have anything to drink, and I was in the middle of the hallway right underneath the florescence lights. I did what I could to cover my eyes from the brightness, but I was just in so much pain. By the time the docs saw me, I hadn't had anything to drink in 11 hours. When I spoke with doctor, she decided that I probably was dehydrated, and luckily she did have the sense to realize that they had exacerbated the whole problem.

When I had left the urgent care center, the doctor there thought that I might have vertigo. But because of my EKG, she wanted me to get my heart checked out more. When I arrived at the ER, they did do another EKG, which the doc that I spoke with at 12:30 AM finally said that it did come out normal. But because of my migraine and because of my now dehydration, that was what she focused on. She never did look into my ears to check to see if there are indeed was fluid, like urgent care had said. And she never did address the vertigo issue. Pretty much, she treated the symptoms for the migraine and the dehydration.

The good news is, though, that she did say that one of the medications I'm on does create dehydration if you don't stay on top of your fluids. She said that you have to drink way more than you actually would normally have to because of the way the medication works. So, it very well could have been dehydration that caused the dizzy feeling I was having. I think that the whole experience, though, which I likened to a form of torture, made it difficult for me to trust that she knew what she was talking about.

In any case, she decided the plan would be to pump me with fluids and to get me medication ASAP. She even agreed that what had happened to me was unacceptable. When she left the side of my bed, she said she was going straight over to put the orders in to get the blood work going, and get me on the fluids and pain meds. So I covered my head back up to avoid the light, and waited. It was at least another hour before she was walking by in the hall again and noticed that I didn't have an IV.  She said that it was completely unacceptable and went back down the hall to go get somebody to get the fluids and meds immediately.

So I was probably hooked up to fluids and meds sometime around 2:30 a.m. By then I was sooooo exhausted. As soon as the pain meds were administered, I was moved out of the center hallway into a curtained off area where the lights could be dimmed and I was finally able to relax a little bit to catch some sleep here and there throughout the night.

At some point in the middle of the night, the doctor came back to me to talk about the results of the blood work and she said that everything came back normal. She was going with the diagnosis of dehydration. At that point, I was so woozy from the medicine they gave me to stop the migraine, that I couldn't quite think straight to ask my questions. Of course, now I have many questions, but it's too late. I am going to follow up with my primary care doc, though, and see if I can get some of my questions answered by her.

Once I woke up this morning, they told me that I could leave whenever I was ready to leave. I couldn't wait to get the heck out of there! I called Prince Charming and he got the kids up and dressed, shuffled them into the car, and then came to the hospital to get me. I still had to go and get my car from the urgent care center where it was left yesterday, but that was easy enough.

When I finally got home, I rested on and off while the kids watched some TV. My mother's helper came in the afternoon for a couple of hours to help with the kids and a couple of light chores, which was a huge help to me today. I'm finally starting to feel a little bit more like myself. However, I definitely still need to catch up on some more rest. Tonight was a takeout night, for sure!

Grateful for your support,

Marathon Momma

Lovin' Me Some ER time!

Today hasn't been the best of days. It started out alright...except for that it was a Friday (I'm currently working on a post about Friday's...look for it soon!). 

After I got all the kids out the door and drove Chub-Chub to school, I needed to make a couple of stops. Simple things...like running into the post office to get stamps (which I wouldn't have done with the boys in tow--or god for bid--all three kids)...and grabbing a gift for somebody. So I took care of those errands, and realized that I was hungry. My energy was already severely depleted, so I decided to drive through the Bruegger's nearby and grab a bagel sandwich, rather than attempt to walk in there on foot. 

After they handed me my order, I pulled over into the parking lot next to Walmart to enjoy the lovely flavors of my tarragon chicken salad sandwich. While I was sitting there in my car eating, I noticed that I was getting really dizzy and just felt awful. 

I have been getting dizziness a bit frequently lately. Over the past several weeks, I have had to sit back down several times when I've been trying to stand up. It's been something I've been concerned about because my doctor is monitoring my blood pressure right now (I have been prehypertensive). And last night, while I was laying down to go to bed, I got really dizzy and decided to take my blood pressure. It ended up being pretty high, so I was planning on calling my doctor today about it anyway.

Ok...getting back to this morning...so given my overwhelming fatigue, pain, and blood pressure for the week, I did not have much on my agenda that I needed to accomplish today. I wanted to get back to the house and rest. But the errands that I ran this morning had to be done today. They just couldn't wait. 

So there I was, sitting in my car...getting dizzy, and feeling worse and worse by the second. I decided that I should find a place to take my blood pressure. Walmart used to have a cuff right near the pharmacy, so despite the fatigue, I climbed down out of my ginormous vehicle and walked in there.  I looked around the pharmacy, but couldn't find the blood-pressure cuff. Realizing how terribly I felt from walking around, I decided that it would be best to get some help so that I could hopefully get my blood pressure taken immediately. I had to wait in line to ask someone in the pharmacy about it, and by the time it was my turn, I felt like I was going to pass out. Unfortunately, the pharmacist said there wasn't a blood pressure monitor anymore.

I walked back out to my car and called my doctor's office. Since it is nearby, I was hoping that maybe they would tell me to come right over and just take my blood pressure. But, given the symptoms that I had, they told me to go right to urgent care if I believed I could make it there...or call 911 and have the ambulance meet me in the parking lot. 

I drove right over to urgent care, which was only a three minute ride or so. And they got me right in and started taking care of me. They took my blood pressure, which was higher than normal, but not as high as it was last night. They did a blood sugar test, which came out normal.

And then they did an EKG. They noticed that my EKG had a change in it from my last EKG only a month or two ago.

After getting those results, they decided that it would be best if I headed to the ER. But of course, being dizzy, they wouldn't let me drive. I was lucky enough to find someone to drive me, andPrince  Charming was able to go home and take care of the kids. 

Tonight is a big night for our Little Miss, who is performing in her school's talent show. She is doing a solo act of headstands and dancing to Taylor Swift's Shake It Off. I am terribly sad that I'm missing it. :(

Anyway, I got to the ER sometime around 1 PM this afternoon. I'm going to be here all night, as I have only seen the nurse so far and the doctor will want to run tests. So here I lay on the stretcher, in the middle of the hospital ER hallway, six hours after arriving. With no end in sight. 

It's a good thing I can make friends anywhere!

Hoping your night is going better than mine,

Marathon Momma