This is how I am feeling today. I haven’t been sleeping well this week. My #glucose numbers aren’t so great even though I am working super hard on controlling them with my diet. And I’ve been so alone throughout my whole pregnancy (well, with the exception of my three screaming meemies 😜). It’s very hard. I am having a difficult time getting excited about this baby. I know that in the end, I will love and adore her just as much as my other three. But with everything I’ve been going through, alone, it’s just.so.hard. Of course I know how this makes me sound. And I know how desperate other women are to have children, so there is enormous guilt associated with my admission and my feelings. And I really do believe she is a gift. I’m just being real. This is where I am at. Alone. Frightened. Worried. Sad. Angry. Exhausted. #truth #pregnancy #pregnant #advancedmaternalage #pregnantat41 #gestationaldiabetes #emotional #chronicandpregnant #fibroandpregnant #chronicillness #fibromyalgia #scleroderma #ibs #fml #depression #anxiety #blogpost #momlife #momoffour #canirunaway #wouldanyonemissme

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Today I am trying a new smoothie for breakfast that has a combination of vanilla protein powder, strawberries, almonds and almond milk, and spinach. It’s not bad. It tastes a little bit sweeter than I thought it would. But the carbs are still pretty low....close to 26 (the goal is to be below 30 for breakfasts and snacks). But this #smoothie has a lot of protein in it, too, so that helps combat or balance the effects of any carbs that are in it. For those interested, here is the #smoothierecipe : 1/2 cup unsweetened vanilla almond milk 1/4 cup almonds 1 cup frozen strawberries 1/4 vanilla protein powder Handful of spinach Fill the rest of a single serve blending cup with water That’s it. Super simple and easy, but tasty and filling. So, my endocrinologist is wondering if I may actually have #type1diabetes (which, I am learning, is different than #type2diabetes in that it is an autoimmune diabetes). Typically, this is the type of diabetes that children are diagnosed with. However, it can, according to the endocrinologist, remain dormant in your system until it is triggered and then can be a diagnosed as late as even 60 years of age. Once all is said and done and the baby is born, they usually test a patient with gestational diabetes for two months after the pregnancy to see if the blood sugars return to normal. So I will be doing all of that, but once that postpartum period is over, she is going to look into whether or not I have type one diabetes, as well. Long story short: I might as well embrace this as a new lifestyle, rather than just a temporary change. 🤷🏼‍♀️ #chronicillness #chronicandpregnant #diabetesawareness #diabetesawarenessmonth #diabetesawarenessday #gestationaldiabetes #pregnancy #pregnancyproblems #advancedmaternalage #fibroandpregnancy #fibromyalgia #momlife #spoonie #blogpost #momof4 #pregnantat41

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The Ultimate Guide to Family Travel as a Spoonie

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Coming fresh off our trip to Lake Placid, NY with the kids, I thought it might be helpful for other people struggling with chronic illness to hear how I manage to travel with kids, my dog, and my plethora of autoimmune and chronic illness issues. 

Here are my top 10 tips for family travel with fibromyalgia and other chronic illnesses:

If you are driving to your destination, there are several tips I have for you.  I haven't flown anywhere since my illnesses emerge, so I can't speak to that just yet.  But some of my tips are definitely useful for any type of travel, since I am sharing with you many of my tips for your time at your vacation spot!

1.  Pack everything you will need for the trip AND the car the day before you travel.  It's too much on your body to do all of the packing and preparing for the trip...and then drive/ride in the car for several hours all on the same day. If you can adjust your schedule to do so, plan the whole day beforehand as your packing day so that you can pack a little, rest a little, pack a little, rest a little.


2.  Travel in the morning, if you are able to, so that you are only contending with your typical pain and fatigue, not your typical plus all-the-packing-getting-ready-managing-kids-pain-and-fatigue.  You will most likely still feel additional pain and fatigue from packing the day before, but you will be better off with having some sleep in between packing and traveling.

3.  Hopefully you will be traveling with another adult companion, be it your spouse/significant other, family member, or friend.  You need someone to go with you that will be able to do at least half, if not the bulk of the driving.  Traveling in the car tends to be uncomfortable for Spoonies, whether driving or resting in the passenger's seat.  But the additional mental and physical energy it requires to drive long distances can be even more fatiguing and you don't want to wear yourself out before you even arrive at your destination!

4. Try to make frequent rest stops to use the bathroom, grab a bite to eat, and stretch your body out.  But keep them as short as possible.  You need to have the break from sitting, but the longer it takes you to reach your destination, the more fatigued you will be.  Of course, with kids in tow, frequent stopping is completely typical anyway, so take advantage of the kids' needs to meet your own, as well.  If you're like me and have IBS, too, that can mean more frequent stops, as well.  It can also mean that you may run into a situation where you need a rest area immediately, but there isn't one in sight.  Many times in the past, we have scooted off the highway to the nearest gas station, store, or fast food joint.  Just like for the kids, make sure you always have a package of wipes, plastic bags, and an extra outfit packed in your car that is easily accessible...just in case.

5. Try to schedule your trip so that you are not in a rush to get to your destination.  Even though the goal is to arrive in as little time as possible (limiting your sitting time), if you add the pressure and stress of a scheduled arrival time, it will increase your fatigue and pain.  So if you can, just go with the flow and try to enjoy the downtime with the family! 

6.  But also make sure you have activities for the children to do!  That's typically a mom no-brainer.  But when you have a chronic illness, the noise from the children being in such close proximity to your ears could make you extremely irritable.  You MUST prepare for them to be occupied if this is a possible outcome for you on your trip.  The point of traveling with your family is to have fun together and spend quality time together, not for the kids to be driving you nuts so much that you end up on the brink of insanity, screaming at them to JUSTBEQUIET because it truly hurts your ears due to their highly sensitive nature.   Oh, and also--the Quiet Game almost always works!  Whenever I say those magical words, "One, two, three, four, Quiet Game!"  I am guaranteed at least a couple of minutes of no whining, complaining, shouting, squealing...you get it! So use it whenever you need to!



7. Once you arrive at your destination and settle into your room, take at least a 20-30 minute rest.  If there is still time left in the day to do any sight-seeing or fun activities, you will need to recuperate as much as you can from the drive.  Of course, since we are often fatigued no matter how much rest we do get, you will most likely still feel it when you are up and moving about again, but that little bit of a rest could mean the difference between enjoying your family and wanting to cringe every time they speak.  (It ain't easy being a spooned!)

8.  Throughout your trip, plan times that you will be back in the hotel for downtime if you can.  The kids need the rest as much as you do (even if they don't want to admit it!).  I can't always get a nap in when we travel, but I have to have rest time planned into each day.  Sometimes that might mean just sitting down on a bench at a park or attraction for 15-20 minutes several times throughout the day if it's not feasible to go back to our room.  But life has changed since being diagnosed with my illnesses, and in order for me to last throughout the day, our pace for sight-seeing is no longer break-neck.  It might mean that we cannot do everything we'd like to do at our destination, but that's okay.  The point is to enjoy your family, experience new things together, and see the world. That doesn't mean that you have to kill yourself doing it!  You will be of no use to your family when you return home if you completely overdo it while you're away.

9.  The kids are probably going to want to take in all of the sights and activities that are energy-consuming for you.  But that doesn't mean you cannot choose an activity or two that is less physically-exhausting.  I find that when I plan activities for the children that are lower-key, mixed in with the exciting, all-consuming, physically-draining ones, it makes it less exhausting for them, too.  And they appreciate those moments just as much, when we are sitting in a park watching the squirrels, or next to the ocean/a lake/a stream breathing in the smells and relaxing to the sounds of the water.  Just as kids need to learn how to be "unplugged" from electronics, they also need to learn to just "be"...in nature, in the moment, with us, in our world...without the "whatarewedoingnext" mentality we've come to know and expect in our culture today.

10.  If you are able to, I highly recommend scheduling at least one down day right after you return from your trip.  Don't make any major plans to do ANYTHING!  And if you can, try to enlist the support of family or friends to help with the kids that first day you return home.  You will most likely need to rest quite a bit and the vacation laundry may have to wait a day or two, but it will all get done eventually.

If I think of more tips, I will come back to this post and edit it to include them, but for now, that's all, folks!  Do any of you have tips you could add to the list?  Please share them in the comments below!

Exhaustedly yours,
Marathon Momma

Are you a Marathon Momma?  Do you run marathons in between raising your little people to be decent humans? Or maybe you aren't a traditional runner, but a runner-after-kidser? Do you feel like every day is a marathon?  Yeah, me too!  Come join our community! Sign-up for our Email List!

Done With the ER

So, it was about 12:30 AM before I finally saw the doctor in the ER yesterday...That would be about 11 hours after I arrived. When I finally saw the doctor at that point, I had a terrible migraine. I was so beside myself I was actually crying to the doctor about how much pain I was in and how terribly I felt they treated me.

Somewhere around 9 PM, I had finally asked the nurse for Tylenol, just to take the edge off the migraine throughout the evening, but they couldn't do anything for me until I saw the doc. I couldn't have anything to drink, and I was in the middle of the hallway right underneath the florescence lights. I did what I could to cover my eyes from the brightness, but I was just in so much pain. By the time the docs saw me, I hadn't had anything to drink in 11 hours. When I spoke with doctor, she decided that I probably was dehydrated, and luckily she did have the sense to realize that they had exacerbated the whole problem.

When I had left the urgent care center, the doctor there thought that I might have vertigo. But because of my EKG, she wanted me to get my heart checked out more. When I arrived at the ER, they did do another EKG, which the doc that I spoke with at 12:30 AM finally said that it did come out normal. But because of my migraine and because of my now dehydration, that was what she focused on. She never did look into my ears to check to see if there are indeed was fluid, like urgent care had said. And she never did address the vertigo issue. Pretty much, she treated the symptoms for the migraine and the dehydration.

The good news is, though, that she did say that one of the medications I'm on does create dehydration if you don't stay on top of your fluids. She said that you have to drink way more than you actually would normally have to because of the way the medication works. So, it very well could have been dehydration that caused the dizzy feeling I was having. I think that the whole experience, though, which I likened to a form of torture, made it difficult for me to trust that she knew what she was talking about.

In any case, she decided the plan would be to pump me with fluids and to get me medication ASAP. She even agreed that what had happened to me was unacceptable. When she left the side of my bed, she said she was going straight over to put the orders in to get the blood work going, and get me on the fluids and pain meds. So I covered my head back up to avoid the light, and waited. It was at least another hour before she was walking by in the hall again and noticed that I didn't have an IV.  She said that it was completely unacceptable and went back down the hall to go get somebody to get the fluids and meds immediately.

So I was probably hooked up to fluids and meds sometime around 2:30 a.m. By then I was sooooo exhausted. As soon as the pain meds were administered, I was moved out of the center hallway into a curtained off area where the lights could be dimmed and I was finally able to relax a little bit to catch some sleep here and there throughout the night.

At some point in the middle of the night, the doctor came back to me to talk about the results of the blood work and she said that everything came back normal. She was going with the diagnosis of dehydration. At that point, I was so woozy from the medicine they gave me to stop the migraine, that I couldn't quite think straight to ask my questions. Of course, now I have many questions, but it's too late. I am going to follow up with my primary care doc, though, and see if I can get some of my questions answered by her.

Once I woke up this morning, they told me that I could leave whenever I was ready to leave. I couldn't wait to get the heck out of there! I called Prince Charming and he got the kids up and dressed, shuffled them into the car, and then came to the hospital to get me. I still had to go and get my car from the urgent care center where it was left yesterday, but that was easy enough.

When I finally got home, I rested on and off while the kids watched some TV. My mother's helper came in the afternoon for a couple of hours to help with the kids and a couple of light chores, which was a huge help to me today. I'm finally starting to feel a little bit more like myself. However, I definitely still need to catch up on some more rest. Tonight was a takeout night, for sure!

Grateful for your support,

Marathon Momma

Lovin' Me Some ER time!

Today hasn't been the best of days. It started out alright...except for that it was a Friday (I'm currently working on a post about Friday's...look for it soon!). 

After I got all the kids out the door and drove Chub-Chub to school, I needed to make a couple of stops. Simple things...like running into the post office to get stamps (which I wouldn't have done with the boys in tow--or god for bid--all three kids)...and grabbing a gift for somebody. So I took care of those errands, and realized that I was hungry. My energy was already severely depleted, so I decided to drive through the Bruegger's nearby and grab a bagel sandwich, rather than attempt to walk in there on foot. 

After they handed me my order, I pulled over into the parking lot next to Walmart to enjoy the lovely flavors of my tarragon chicken salad sandwich. While I was sitting there in my car eating, I noticed that I was getting really dizzy and just felt awful. 

I have been getting dizziness a bit frequently lately. Over the past several weeks, I have had to sit back down several times when I've been trying to stand up. It's been something I've been concerned about because my doctor is monitoring my blood pressure right now (I have been prehypertensive). And last night, while I was laying down to go to bed, I got really dizzy and decided to take my blood pressure. It ended up being pretty high, so I was planning on calling my doctor today about it anyway.

Ok...getting back to this morning...so given my overwhelming fatigue, pain, and blood pressure for the week, I did not have much on my agenda that I needed to accomplish today. I wanted to get back to the house and rest. But the errands that I ran this morning had to be done today. They just couldn't wait. 

So there I was, sitting in my car...getting dizzy, and feeling worse and worse by the second. I decided that I should find a place to take my blood pressure. Walmart used to have a cuff right near the pharmacy, so despite the fatigue, I climbed down out of my ginormous vehicle and walked in there.  I looked around the pharmacy, but couldn't find the blood-pressure cuff. Realizing how terribly I felt from walking around, I decided that it would be best to get some help so that I could hopefully get my blood pressure taken immediately. I had to wait in line to ask someone in the pharmacy about it, and by the time it was my turn, I felt like I was going to pass out. Unfortunately, the pharmacist said there wasn't a blood pressure monitor anymore.

I walked back out to my car and called my doctor's office. Since it is nearby, I was hoping that maybe they would tell me to come right over and just take my blood pressure. But, given the symptoms that I had, they told me to go right to urgent care if I believed I could make it there...or call 911 and have the ambulance meet me in the parking lot. 

I drove right over to urgent care, which was only a three minute ride or so. And they got me right in and started taking care of me. They took my blood pressure, which was higher than normal, but not as high as it was last night. They did a blood sugar test, which came out normal.

And then they did an EKG. They noticed that my EKG had a change in it from my last EKG only a month or two ago.

After getting those results, they decided that it would be best if I headed to the ER. But of course, being dizzy, they wouldn't let me drive. I was lucky enough to find someone to drive me, andPrince  Charming was able to go home and take care of the kids. 

Tonight is a big night for our Little Miss, who is performing in her school's talent show. She is doing a solo act of headstands and dancing to Taylor Swift's Shake It Off. I am terribly sad that I'm missing it. :(

Anyway, I got to the ER sometime around 1 PM this afternoon. I'm going to be here all night, as I have only seen the nurse so far and the doctor will want to run tests. So here I lay on the stretcher, in the middle of the hospital ER hallway, six hours after arriving. With no end in sight. 

It's a good thing I can make friends anywhere!

Hoping your night is going better than mine,

Marathon Momma